The Girl in a Black Dress

It has been almost two weeks since Valentine’s Day, but we are still in the so-called Love Month. This time seems like an excuse for shopping malls and other commercial entities to decorate their stores with red hearts and play romantic songs over the radio while lovers celebrate their feelings to each other. In a country where this scenario is glaringly apparent every day, it troubles me to think of those who are single or have recently broken up. Won’t they feel bitter to be surrounded with these joyous celebration of love to a partner?

I know someone who was affected by this highly commercialized holiday. She broke up with her ex quite some time now, but still haven’t committed herself in a relationship again. When asked, she would turn bitter and say that she needs no one. She’s happy being single. I could understand the freedom and independence she thought she was having by being unattached, so I didn’t pursue asking her. However, I wasn’t aware that there was a growing issue underneath her jolly façade.

Before, I noticed she was uncomfortable with our guy friends and I attributed it to her recent breakup. Then, she won’t go out even with us, her girlfriends, and instead invent many lame excuses not to see us. I wasn’t bothered until lately, when even her colleagues flood her with comments pleading her to go with them, too. I tried talking to her then, and when she finally granted my request to meet her, I was surprised with what I’ve discovered.

Being Single is Different from Being Alone

My friend did not take well the sour ending of her year-long relationship. It isn’t easy, I give her that. In the beginning, she couldn’t face her friends and family who were witnesses of how their love bloomed and withered. She preferred tiring herself at work and hiding in her room at home. She also stopped accepting invitations to social events for fear of talking about what happened. Friends and colleagues tried to get her out, but their efforts were all in futile. She was slowly turning herself to a recluse.

OASAP, black dress, elegant

Have you ever felt so alone? So sad that you just want to bury yourself in loneliness and never come out?

Those were the questions she gave me in our small chat. She admitted that at first, she felt depressed how the relationship ended, and helpless for being unable to stop it. She felt so lonely. Later, loneliness engulfed her and she was cocooned in it. Solitude made her comfortable, safe, and secure. She didn’t want to get out. How could she embrace loneliness like it’s her lifeline?

OASAP, black dress, maxi, elegant, long, cheap, cutout

My friend, I may not know how difficult it was back then, but your family and friends were and will always be here for you. Don’t turn your back on us!

Every one of us has experienced rejection and abandonment in different degrees and it is okay to stay alone for a while. Keep in solitude until you found yourself perfect and whole again, but never get deluded in the sense of comfort it gives you. We will patiently wait for you to return to us and we will surely welcome you back with open arms!


OASAP, dress, black dress, maxi, elegant, tassel, cutout

This long black dress was from OASAP, one of the leading international online fashion stores out there.I have made multiple transactions from it and I never had a single complaint about its service. The site is user-friendly and filled with a huge range of fashionable products to choose from. Also, the customer service is always there whenever I have queries about a product or my order details.

Oasap, black dress, long gown, elegant, cutout

One thing worth highlighting about OASAP’s products is the quality it has compared to other brands. It never fails to deliver high-quality clothes. If the product description says it is 100% polyester and fully lined, expect the item to arrive the exact way.

Oasap, black dress, long gown, elegant, cutout

This is my first maxi dress and I was afraid it would dwarf me once I wear it. I like its simplicity and elegance with tassels and cutout details as its only design.

What do you think? Does it suit me? I will upload few more photos wearing a belt to add body, so please bear with me and my lack of figure here. Hehe.

OASAP, maxi, long dress, elegant, style, fashion, cheap

Set your self free, my friend!

Thoughts to Ponder:

“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.” – Jodi Picoult

“Why do people have to be this lonely? What’s the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?” –  Haruki Murakami

31 thoughts on “The Girl in a Black Dress

  1. A breakup can really, really be devastating. There’s this book I read and I loved what the author said there – “When someone breaks your heart, it’s not really your heart they break. Instead, they take away the very things that make you feel safe and whole.” I guess that’s why it’s so difficult to recover. Suddenly, we begin to doubt ourself and our self worth. Hope your friend recovers soon!

  2. I believe everyone has to meet breakup not to hurt themselves but to somehow know their worth. It is always important learning how to move on. Get up and smile. If it hurts, then it’s not worth it.
    Anyway, i super love the dress. Black dress is always stunning… Ever 🙂

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