Undeserving

gongjumonica, alone, undeserving, poem, poetry, friendship

[photo credits]

 I can still remember the day

You approached me and said

“Can we take a picture together?”

And since then our fates are sealed.

 

Slowly we became

Inseparable friends

Meeting frequently, laughing hysterically,

Knowing each other.

 

Others are here around us, yes

And we are their true friends, yes

But a special bond between us exists.

We are each other’s best friend.

 

As the calendar turns

And shows its true color,

Changes appear as we

Became more comfortable with each other.

 

Our friendship teeters on the edge

As hurtful jokes and lashing words

Are said – not thinking,

Not considering our feelings.

 

And so it begins.

The cold shoulder. No more invitation.

Masked faces. Hidden emotions.

Ignored. Unneeded. Unwanted.

 

Oh, if only I could turn back time!

Delete those painful words and criticisms,

The joking and bullying.

Taking for granted everything.

 

I neither deserve your

Forgiveness nor acceptance

Of all my faults and shortcomings.

My transgressions simply run too deep!

 

So I must distance myself

Away from you, away from everyone

So I will no longer succeed

In hurting you and ourselves.

 

Watching you from afar

Teasing and playing with your new friends

I know it should’ve been me in there

But now I must not come near.

 

What a sad sight to see!

Now my tears flow freely

As something inside me breaks,

I didn’t expect it would give this much ache.

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